Weight loss program update; one-year anniversary is Wednesday

The following is another "Have Fun or Get Out of the Way" column by Don Leighton and Mike Granlund and their alter egos, Lance Boyle and Billy Pirkola, which runs occasionally in The Superior Telegram.

The following is another "Have Fun or Get Out of the Way" column by Don Leighton and Mike Granlund and their alter egos, Lance Boyle and Billy Pirkola, which runs occasionally in The Superior Telegram.

It seems like only yesterday, but Lance and Billy began their weight loss efforts on Jan. 23. Time has flown by, and as April 16, the boys have lost a combined 70 pounds. Billy has his eye on a size 8, black strapless evening gown. He will look marvelous.

One more bit of housecleaning before we give you the LBWLP (Lance and Billy weight loss program) update. We will celebrate our one-year anniversary with the Telegram next Wednesday. Since we began, we have written more than 80 articles ranging from humor to tribute, useful information to useless facts and reality to fantasy.

We thank the paper and all of our loyal readers. If we have made you laugh, cry or think, then we have been successful. We want to wish you, the readers, a happy anniversary.

Due to technical difficulties, we have not had an update for a month. Let's see how everyone is doing:


Sugar Pie has lost 10 pounds. What a great achievement this is.

Choco Holic has lost 15 of her goal of 20. Yippy Skippy. Congratulations. Lance thinks that you would look much better in that size 8 than Billy.

Monk has lost 10 pounds of his Speedo goal of 20. What a great photo: Lance, Billy and Monk.

TCB is down 18 of his goal of 30. He is another candidate for the photo.

Victor has lost 5 pounds, as of a couple of weeks ago.

Checkmate is well on the way to losing his goal of 40. So far, he has lost 14. Way to go.

New Members this reporting period are:

NVRMSBEHAVIN has lost 14 pounds and has a goal of another 38. Great beginning.


Mo has lost 15 and has a goal of 25 pounds. Over halfway there, and another Speedo candidate.

Moose is just starting and has a goal of 30 pounds.

Squirrel is looking to lose 25 pounds and is just starting. (Lance loves any reference to Bullwinkle and Rocky. Now we need Natasha and Boris.)

Holding Steady has lost 50 pounds of her 50-pound goal. She has been going to Weight Watchers and is maintaining her girlish figure. Way to go H.S.

KrisK is looking to lose 50 pounds by Christmas Eve. What a present that would be.

Sweetie Pie is just starting and has a goal of 20. Get us some more members from your family and we will waive the $500 initiation fee.

Liz is looking to lose 20 pounds and is just starting. The weather is warmer in "Lizi" land. Go for walks with that special someone.

June Nabors has lost 20. Keep it up, June.


We are missing some updates from the following members, who are in danger of having their entry into the "Lance and Billy All Expense Paid Trip to Somewhere" removed from the barrel"

Dagwood, Blondie, Ricky, Lucy, Bam Bam, Ozzie, Harriet, Big Bad John, Luigi, The Big Luigi, Speedy, Temple of Doom, Bigdrunner, Time to Downsize, Arctic Hog, Jake, Curly and Tank Turbo.

Boyleing in the Pirkolater

  • Northwood baseball coaches Brian Olson and Paul Vaara's idea of having a "wooden bat" tournament comes to fruition Saturday with the Evergreens hosting Glenwood City and Birchwood in a tournament at Robert Link Field in Minong. Fans are encouraged to stop and see baseball as it was meant to be played, with wooden bats. The field is located behind the Northwood School on Highway 53, north of Minong. The first game in the anti-ping zone has Northwood facing Birchwood at 10 a.m.
  • Superior Telegram basketball Player of the Year Steve Tecker received a scholarship offer from St. Louis University this week. St. Louis plays in the Atlantic 10 Conference with such teams as Xavier, LaSalle, and Temple. The Billikens are coached by former Marquette and Utah coach Rick Majerus. Other Division 1 schools that have shown an interest in Tecker, who is a junior at Northwestern, include North Dakota, Bucknell, Indiana State, Drake, Northern Iowa, UW-Green Bay and Yale.
  • Superior hockey fans can be very proud as three former Spartans will lace it up in Division 1 hockey next season. Tim Smith has signed with Providence and Brett Olson of Michigan Tech and Mike Sislo of New Hampshire will return to the ice after stellar college seasons.
  • One of the interesting competitions in track this season will be the Heart O' North shotput competition. Ryan Miesbauer of Northwestern, who also stars in football, wrestling and weightlifting, joins Zack Anderson of Ladysmith and Bucky Dixon of Hayward as throwers who toss the put over 50 feet and give the HON Conference three state meet contenders. Anderson is headed to Northern Illinois for football in the fall and Dixon will go to Bethel (Tenn.) College. Miesbauer is a junior.
  • With spring sports finally here, make it a point to get out and watch some high school and college sports this spring. These kids work very hard and there are a ton of interesting players in our area. Attending these games is a great (and free) way of showing support for our athletes.

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