A hardy thanks for your appreciationOver the years of this column, a number of you have expressed your pleasure with the columns. More than one person has claimed to be sending it on to a former resident, relative or good friend. It is most pleasant to hear that type feedback.
By: Bernie Hughes, Superior Telegram
Over the years of this column, a number of you have expressed your pleasure with the columns. More than one person has claimed to be sending it on to a former resident, relative or good friend. It is most pleasant to hear that type feedback.
It is even pleasing to hear negative comments although most readers are obviously too polite to express those. Good to hear them, though, for it is further evidence the column is being read.
Some of you like humor and I think today’s conclusion will tickle those folks. It did me when I found it in an old file.
I debated with myself a long time before using it however since there could be — always is that possibility — people offended. If you are easily offended, skip the story.
Some of us like statistics that bear evidence on some democratic process issue. This is one such entitled, “Importance of one vote decisions (the list could be lengthened):”
Presidential election so decided: Thomas Jefferson & Rutherford Hayes.
Military conscription, 1941
Statehood: California, Idaho, Oregon, Texas and Washington.
France made a republic in 1875 and ended it by one vote too — 1940
Some of us like to learn about “firsts:” Slavery in the U.S. was abolished in 1865. Women, in the U.S., were given the right to vote Aug. 26, 1920. Isn’t it gratifying now to see women serving in Congress, as chief executive officers of major corporations and the list goes on.
I think one of the first such signals was in the 19th century. On May 5, 1809, Mary Kies of Connecticut was the first woman to receive a patent in the United States. Her invention was a device for weaving straw with silk or thread. How many other women should have been so awarded? One example was when Eli Whitney received a cotton gin patent in 1794. In fact, it was Catherine Greene of South Carolina who developed the plans and backed Eli Whitney financially while he developed the Gin and applied for the patent.
Let me close with this questionable humor item for today’s column. My wife, Joyce, who reads my preparations, improves grammar, etc. gave me a thumbs down on including it so now the most easily offended have received the word, Don’t read the following.
This man with a bald head and a wooden leg gets invited to a fancy dress party. He wants a costume that will hide his bald head and his wooden leg.
So he writes to a fancy dress company and explains his problem. A few days later, he receives a parcel with a note: “Dear Sir, please find enclosed a pirate’s outfit. The spotted handkerchief will cover your bald head, and with your wooden leg, you will be just right as a pirate.”
The man thinks this is terrible because they have just emphasized his wooden leg. So he writes a really rude letter of complaint.
A week passes and he receives another parcel and a note which says, “Dear Sir, sorry about before, please find enclosed a monk’s habit. The long robe will cover your wooden leg, and with your bald head, you will really look the part.”
Now the man is really annoyed, since they have just gone from emphasizing his wooden leg to emphasizing his bald head, and he writes the company a nasty letter of complaint.
In a few days he receives a small parcel and a note which reads, “Dear Sir, please find enclosed a jar of caramel. Pour the jar of caramel over your bald head, stick your wooden leg up your butt and go as a candied apple.”
The moral of this story could be don’t carry an issue too far.