Long-married couples offer secrets to successful marriages

U.S. Census Bureau reported in 2009 that the average length of marriages is 20.8 years. Someone forget to tell three couples living at the Lighthouse of Superior because each couple has been married at least 60 years. When asked for the secrets to such long marriages, all three responded by saying in one way or another, “work it out.”

With 65 years of married experience, June and Alex Orlowski said it is simply a matter of weathering the ups and downs.

“We ironed out our problems,” June said.

“It’s just part of married life,” Alex agreed. Both say that their love has grown over the years.

The Orlowskis are parents of 11 children, 10 of whom are living. Their children, 21 grandchildren and 13 great-grandchildren all live in Wisconsin. But Wisconsin hasn’t always been home to June and Alex.

They met in Maine where Alex was stationed with the Coast Guard during WWII and June’s father was the lighthouse keeper on an island. After dating for about three and a half years, they married and continued to live in Maine the next four years. In 1950 they arrived in Iron River on a very cloudy, snowy day with one child in tow. Alex, a native of Duluth, came back like many Minnesotans.

After many years in their home in Superior, the Orlowskis moved to an apartment at the Lighthouse where life is easier for June. Alex still visits their home to do routine maintenance. They participate in many of the activities offered at the Lighthouse and visit the casinos for added entertainment.

Like the Orlowskis, Bob and Fern Daugherty talk about each having to “give in a little bit” to make a marriage happy and make it last. Married 61 years, Bob also contributes their success to working hard.

“Everything just fell in to place,” Bob said. “We knew we had to work and get along in order to eat.”

The Daughtertys are both educators and met at school. Bob was teaching math and Fern taught second grade at Buffalo Lake when they met. Most of their years together have been spent in Minnesota where both are natives. They have two daughters and three grandchildren who live in Superior.

“They come often to see how things are going,” Fern said.

While Fern stayed home to raise their daughters, Bob continued teaching, ultimately becoming a principal in St. Louis Park.

“I was really lucky,” Fern said, “Because Bob really loved his work.” Bob says it took him eight or nine years to graduate from college because of the break he took to serve as a meteorologist in the Air Force during WWII.

Today, life is gentler as Bob plays a little golf and Fern spends some of her time reading. Their apartment at the Lighthouse is decorated with many delicate and intricate pieces of cross-stitch, embroidery and other beautiful handiwork of Fern’s.

The “novices” in the group have been married only 60 years. Sara and Hank Palkii married in St. Petersburg, Fla., in 1951 about a year after Sara came to the United States from Finland to live with her aunt in Nashwauk, Minn. Hank, who also is Finnish, is a native Minnesotan who grew up on a dairy farm near Marengo, Minn.

Fern, a graduate of a business college in Finland, worked for many years setting up convenience stores for Land O’Lakes while Hank worked as a carpenter and helped on the family’s dairy farm. He, too, is a WWII veteran having served in the Navy in the South Pacific.

After Sara became ill with cancer, their two sons encouraged them to make life easier by moving to the Lighthouse. Their sons, two grandchildren and one great-grandchild visit them often. Sara keeps up with life in her native Finland through her hometown’s newspaper and corresponding with family and friends.

Hank and Sara offer this simple advice: “Don’t fight.”

“She’s a wonderful wife,” Hank lovingly said.

These three couples are role models for what it takes to make a marriage. They are relaxed and confident with each other. It is clear by their words and the looks on their faces they are genuinely best friends as well as marriage partners.

Editor’s note: June Orlowski has passed away since this article was written. It was her husband’s wish that their story still be shared.

Tags: community, seniors, family, health, travel