Boyle family sports saga continues

The following is another “Have Fun or Get Out of the Way” column by award-winning Don Leighton and Mike Granlund and their alter egos, Lance Boyle and Billy Pirkola, which runs occasionally in The Superior Telegram.

The interest in a wide variety of sports has always been present in the Boyle family. For generations, sport has occupied much of the leisure time available to this ancient clan. Having roots planted way back in the 1400s, the MacBoyle’s, as they were known in their native Scotland, sponsored many teams involved in the sports of the day.

Who could throw rocks the farthest, who could hit a member of the opposing team with an arrow, and who fell down the least when racing across the frozen rivers and lakes were some of the competitions of the day. MacBoyle’s sponsored and fed many of the participants at their restaurant chain. They served hundreds of people every year.

Fast forward to the 1960s in America. Having invented the legend of the Loch Ness monster, kilts, Scotch plaid (a malted adult beverage), hop scotch, and Scotch tape, their work was complete and the New World welcomed them with open arms. (Actually, they snuck in when no one was looking.)

The family dropped the Mac from their name so as not to be confused with McDonald’s or Macintosh computers, both of whom could trace their origins to the MacBoyle’s in old Scotland.

Lance’s great uncle, Victor, competed in the 1960 Winter Games in Squaw Valley, Calif. He was a participant and medal winner in the ski jumping competition. His coach was way ahead of his time regarding training techniques. He had Victor practice with lead weights on his legs. On many occasions, this was painful as Victor did not soar like an eagle but fell to earth with a bang. He also wore tight clothing for less wind resistance, all the way down to his feet. He wore the smallest ski boots he could stand to be as streamlined as possible.

After he won the gold medal, he was the happiest man alive except for one thing: His feet were killing him. When he was interviewed by an ABC reporter who was covering the event, Victor stated, “I am the happiest man alive. All of the training and sacrifice was worth it.” When asked how his feet were feeling, as they soaked in hot water and Epsom salts, he replied, “I am in agony.”

So there you have it, the thrill of Victor and the agony of the feet.

Now you know where ABC came up with the slogan, “The thrill of victory and the agony of defeat.”

My uncle Victor will be a wealthy man one day. Legal action is still pending against ABC, McDonald’s and Macintosh. I forgot to tell you, Victor’s whole name is Richard Charles Alan Victor Boyle. Yes RCA Victor Boyle is his whole name. That’s another story for another time.

I suppose you are wondering what this has to do with the price of bread and the Harbor House Crisis Center. Well, tomorrow the athletic excellence exhibited by uncle Victor continues as Lance teams with Telegram Sports Editor Ken Olson, crack photographer Jed Carlson and the Great One, Billy Perkola for a killer of a race, the “.01K Fun Run” for Harbor House. This event is sponsored by the Superior Business Improvement District, BID, and all proceeds will go to benefit a great and worthy organization, Harbor House Crisis Center. The location for the event will be held on North 12th Street between Banks and Tower avenues. Runners will be only required to run/walk 32.8 feet. (With a four man relay, Lance will only have to run/walk 8.2 feet. Intense training has been taking place for the last two weeks.)

The first 150 to register receive a T-shirt, beverage and reception immediately following the competition at Vintage Italian Pizza. Mix 108 will be there to DJ the event. Registration begins at 4:30 p.m. with pre “game” festivities from 4:30- 6:15 p.m. From 6:15- 6:30 p.m., stretching will be allowed and the racers will be lined up for the big event. Promptly at 6:30 p.m., the crow will signal the start of the race. Upon completion of the event at 6:31 p.m., the post-race celebration will be held and will last until 8 p.m.

Advanced registration is only $10 and is possible at www.runforharborhouse.com. If you register at the event, the cost is $15. You can also register by calling the Superior BID at (715) 394-3557. Ask for Jodi Rochon for all the information you need on how to complete your Saturday activities.

Here is another great example of a win-win situation. Food, fun, friends, old and new, beverages, a race to rival Ben Hur, without the chariots, and helping out the Harbor House Crisis Center.

Sign up to get a T-shirt so you can look as good as Lance, Billy, Jed and Kenny. Good luck.

I have called uncle Victor for training tips. He will be so proud.

Tags: have fun or get out of the way, sports, collections, superior, updates, running