Published July 29, 2011, 01:48 AM

Lance and, ‘where’s Billy?’

During the past three-plus years of writing “Have Fun or get out of the Way,” we have covered all sorts of stories. We really enjoy writing Pirkolator columns that cover short, informative items we find important, so with adieu no further, here is our Pirkolator for July 29, 2011.

The following is another “Have Fun or Get Out of the Way” column by award-winning Don Leighton and Mike Granlund and their alter egos, Lance Boyle and Billy Pirkola, which runs occasionally in The Superior Telegram.

During the past three-plus years of writing “Have Fun or get out of the Way,” we have covered all sorts of stories. We really enjoy writing Pirkolator columns that cover short, informative items we find important, so with adieu no further, here is our Pirkolator for July 29, 2011.

Big things are pirkolating at the Poplar Golf Course.

A benefit golf outing on behalf of Eric and Hilary Munson will be held at the PGC on Saturday, Aug. 6. Thirty-one-year-old Eric of Superior was diagnosed with stage four cancer in his liver and lungs in May. He has received treatment at the Mayo Clinic in Rochester and has not been able to work.

His wife, Hilary, daughter of Pat and Dan Learn of Wentworth, has been by his side every minute and also has not been working since the diagnosis. His parents, John and Linda Munson, are ecstatic he is home, but he must make frequent trips to Rochester for treatment.

Here’s the deal: The golf event is not a tournament. It’s a day of golf at PGC with $20 tickets that can be used that day or anytime during the 2011 season. If you use your ticket on Aug. 6 goodies are in your future with lunch and a prize drawing. Lunch is always good.

Golf starts at 9 a.m. and awards will be presented at 6 p.m. You can get your tickets at PGC, Third Base Bar and Dodgie’s East End Tavern.

• Mr. and Mrs. Billy are in Branson, Mo., so guess who does all of the work for this piece?

Lance received special instruction and warnings from Mrs. Billy not to contact Billy during their sojourn to Missouri. I hope they see Tony Orlando and Andy Williams. Billy would have to get up pretty early to see “dawn.” Get it? Tony Orlando and Dawn? Sorry about that.

Nothing to do Saturday night? A fundraiser for Superior High School athletic and academic teams, Street Dance of the Summer, will take on the street between Grizzly’s and O’Neill’s Pub.

The car and motorcycle show is from 2 to 5 p.m.; the beanbag tournament begins at 5:30 p.m.; and the street dance is from 7:30 to 11:30 p.m. Band members include Aaron Ashley, Mike “Quick Fingers” Weinandt, Matt LeBard and Glen Bayless.

• Lance likes to start the day in vigorous and exercising fashion, so from 8 to 10 a.m. at SHS come and take part in Zumbathon and support those athletes and academicians.

The Zumba Fitness is a Latin-music based cardio workout. (There is a lot wrong with that sentence; fitness, cardio, workout.)

Ray Kosey gives his opinion, misguided according to Billy, of Zumba Fitness.

“It’s more than exercise; it’s about creating a place where we can go to sweat, dance, have fun and be silly. You’ll get a taste of many different Latin dances including, merengue, salsa, flamenco, samba, tango, reggaeton, cumbia, calypso, cha cha and belly dancing!” (Lance likes silly and salsa, as long as there are chips, and would be a great belly dancer. Maybe, just maybe.)

The cost of taking part in any of the activities is $10. Wear Spartan colors and show your support for the high school. Weather will be great, we promise. Another win-win event.

• We are always on the lookout for nice people, especially kids, in our midst.

Two of my favorite people are Gary and Alana Dunning. Their eldest son, Eric (SHS 1987) has a daughter, Mia, who is a pretty good hockey player. She is 10 and recently attended hockey camp at UMD for the second year and has played on various all-star teams in southern Wisconsin. Her mother, Marguerite, is from Green Bay, and the family lives in Ashwaubenon. The entire family bleeds Packer green and gold. Eric played for the Spartan team that lost in the football playoffs to nationally ranked Manitowoc in 1987. They have been married for 18 years.

Their other son, Kyle, who used to cut the grass and keep the sidewalks clear of snow at the Boyle estate, has a nice young man for a son. His name is Connor and he is 9. He loves to fish, ride on grandpa’s scooter and play catch. Rumor has it when they fish the Minong Flowage, Gary is put to shame by the number of fish Connor catches.

Kyle and his wife Lisa, who is also from Green Bay, live in Titletown, love the Packers and have been married for 11 years.

Kyle played on the 1989 Spartan football team that lost in the state championship game to Brent Moss and Racine Park.

Gary and Alana Dunning love when the kids come up to see them. Lance Boyle is a lucky person for meeting such great young people. Now, if we can only get them to move to Superior. Mrs. Boyle would love it if Connor would do her job of cutting the grass and keeping the walks clear in winter.

Just a note, the Dunning yard is the nicest in Superior. Cassie “the Dog” Boyle makes frequent stops in the grass when Gary is not looking.

• The 14 Foundation has struck again. During their golf tournament a few weeks ago, more than $15,000 was raised because of the great people of our area. Steve Arnovich’s name will live on, and many worthy groups will benefit from your generosity.

Special thanks to Dave Kangas, Jeff Arnovich and the other committee members for starting this tournament and running it so successfully. Dave is the son of close personal friend of Lance Boyle, Del Kangas.

• The Dick Reder Golf Outing raised more than $9,600 a couple of weeks ago for the YMCA Strong Kids Program.

Hundreds of thousands of dollars have been raised and donated by the Reder family during their time in Superior. It is caring families like the Reder’s and Arnovich’s that make Superior truly great. Thanks to Rich and Paul Reder for carrying on their father’s legacy of giving.

Opinions and/or story ideas can be e-mailed to dleigh1273@aol.com.

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