Faith, family and friends

Talk about it

It is important to collect one’s emotions before reacting when a tragedy or catastrophic event occurs in our lives.

An event, as tragic as the premature death of a vital human being, can bring people together in many different ways. We will mourn and remember the loved one and friend. We will realize that nothing should ever be taken for granted. Most importantly, we will all need to follow the natural progression of grief: shock and denial, pain and guilt, anger and questioning why, depression and loneliness, the upward turn, reconstruction and working through, and acceptance and hope.

Each stage of recovery will differ for each person in regards to the length, order and intensity. Those closest to the departed will obviously face a more difficult time dealing with these seven steps. Our support for the family and each other, understanding, and confidence in the future, are a must when we deal with what has happened.

Everyone, regardless of their relationship, will ask the question, “Why?”

Many times, there are no answers.

“Each question must have an answer,” you may say. However, there are many mysteries in faith, and faith is what is required to get family and friends through these times. If there is a reason, whatever it may be, it may never be known. Each of us will speculate as to why something happens. Reliance on faith will allow us to move on and eventually, as hard as it is to believe now, recover and continue our lives.

It is a tribute to those who have passed to keep the meaning of their life and what kind of person they were alive. People possess free will and it is in time of tragedy that we can choose which path to take. We can choose to be angry and guilt-ridden or we can choose to move on, holding on to those characteristics most dear to us.

Never forget, many times, there are no answers, in life or death. Faith is so important allowing each of us to go forth and lead productive and good lives.

It is vitally important that those who have experienced the sudden loss of a family member or friend rely on friends and family for support. Humans are very resilient and possess a very rare quality: a never-give-up attitude. Regardless of what obstacle we face, our lives would have little meaning if we were to throw in the towel. Life is precious and there are countless opportunities for happiness.

In 1850, Alfred Lord Tennyson wrote in a poem: In Memoriam: 27, “Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.”

I never believed that until recently. The experiences, the good and bad times, the learning and teaching moments, the moments where self-esteem and confidence were enhanced, and the quiet times and the not so quiet times where we interacted with our loved ones is why we are who we are. Not knowing a person of such great influence in our lives would be the real tragedy.

With these thoughts in mind, have and keep your thoughts, prayers and actions in the forefront for those who have suffered an untimely death. There is not a day that goes by that I don’t think of the Holcombe family, the Smith family, the Granlund family and selfishly the loss of my mom and dad.

My dad passed away in 1977, and I still smile when I think of what we had. I hope I have passed on the good things to my kids. Please direct your thoughts and prayers to the family of Dennis Godfrey. He was a friend to many but a father and husband to a very lucky few.

For those of us that have lost someone, hold dear the memories of the past. We cannot change what has happened and, as a tribute to our loved one, must honor their memory by living our lives to the fullest with as much happiness as we can summon.

A wise man once said, “It is all right to visit the past, just don’t stay too long.”

Opinions and/or story ideas can be e-mailed to dleigh1273@aol.com or wgranlund@centurytel.net

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