Have faith in humorDid you read my recent essay, “Humor is The Best Medicine?” Today I hope you’ll agree that humor can apply to religion too. The incidents reported herein are obviously intended as humor so hopefully no one will be offended.
By: Bernie Hughes, Superior Telegram
Did you read my recent essay, “Humor is The Best Medicine?” Today I hope you’ll agree that humor can apply to religion too. The incidents reported herein are obviously intended as humor so hopefully no one will be offended. I can’t give proper credit to the authors of the enclosures. So many items come by e-mail, snail mail, etc., and aren’t documented. That’s my excuse and I’m sticking to it.
Good vs. evil
And God populated the earth with broccoli and cauliflower and spinach, green and red vegetables of all kinds, so man and woman would live long and healthy lives.
And Satan created McDonald’s. And McDonald’s brought forth the 99-cent double cheeseburger. And Satan said to man: “You want fries with that?” And man said, “Supersize them.” And Man gained pounds.
And God created the healthful yogurt, that woman might keep her figure that man found so fair.
And Satan brought forth the chocolate and woman gained pounds.
And God said, “Try my crispy fresh salad.”
And Satan brought forth ice cream and woman gained pounds.
And God said: “I have sent you heart-healthy vegetables and olive oil in which to cook them.
And Satan brought forth chicken-fried steak so big it needed its own platter. And man gained pounds and his bad cholesterol went through the roof.
And God brought forth running shoes and man resolved to lose those extra pounds.
And Satan brought forth cable TV with remote control so man would not have to toil to change channels between ESPN and ESPN2, and man gained pounds.
And God said: “You are running up the score, Devil.” And God brought forth the potato, a vegetable naturally low in fat and brimming with nutrition.
And Satan peeled off the beautiful skin and sliced the starchy center into chips and deep-fat fried them. And he created sour cream dip also. And man clutched the remote control and sour cream dip also. And man clutched the remote control and ate the potato chips swaddled in cholesterol. And Satan saw and said, “It is good.” And man went into cardiac arrest.
And God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery.
And Satan created HMO’s.
The following individual bought a sign from a religious store that said, “Honk if You Love Jesus” He put it on his car’s rear bumper and was happy he did as he later reported below:
I was stopped at a busy intersection and was lost in thought when the light changed.
Then I found out that lots of people love Jesus. The guy behind me started to honk like crazy.
He did love Jesus because he rolled down his window and yelled real loud, “Go Jesus Christ Go.” Then everybody else started honking too so I leaned out and smiled at all these loving people. There must have been a fellow from the South back there because he yelled something about “Sunny Beach.” Then I saw him waving in a funny way with his middle finger stuck up in the air. I asked my kids what that meant and they told me it was the Hawaiian good luck sign.
Some folks were so caught up in the joy of the moment that they got out of their cars and started walking towards me. I felt that they wanted to pray, but just then I noticed the light had turned yellow, so I stepped on the accelerator, and a good thing, I did, because I was the only driver that made it across the intersection.
I looked back at them standing there. I leaned out of my window, gave them a big smile and held up the Hawaiian good luck sign as I drove away. Praise the Lord for such wonderful folks!
Bernie Hughes, Ed.D, is a retired educator who resides in Superior. He can be reached at Bernie1@cpinternet.com.