Pack-rat proclivities of a wordsmith

People save different things. Some men have tools for jobs they can only imagine ever really having to do. Some folks save clothes; remember Imelda Marcos and her shoe collection? Maybe you are a collector too. Different strokes for different folks.

My cache is the printed word. I’ve saved the printed word — words that impressed me or groups of words that impressed me and especially words that rhyme when I had the time.

I’ve got file folders full, file drawers full, desks full and the list goes on. Some times I can even find what I thought I remembered having. But it is fun, too, to find something else that pleases me every now and again.

Today I thought I’d share a couple with you — one serious and one humorous. The serious one is friendship which is the saving grace of the human race in my opinion. When I hear about a suicide, I wonder how the relatives and the friends must feel. What could they have done with additional efforts at love and friendship to prevent it? Maybe nothing but that doesn’t help at that point in time.

In my storehouse of savings, I found “An Ode to Friendship.”

Mankind strives for glory, honor and fame.

That all the world may know their name.

Amasses wealth by brain and hand.

Becomes a power in the land.

But then they near the end of life

And looking o’er the years of strife,

They find that happiness depends

On none of these - but love of friends,

As regular readers know, I attempt to use some humor near the ending of these columns and I found one of my favorites in the files. Hope you get a laugh.

I titled this, “The Non-conforming Sparrow on the Superior Riviera.”

This particular sparrow decided not to fly to Lake Havasu this winter as is the custom of some of our locals. Sadly, he had waited too long. The weather turned extra nasty, ice formed on his wings and he got so cold he had to give up the effort dropping down into a cow pasture a little bit north of Solon Springs. He thought he was a goner. Couldn’t move and could hardly breathe.

A cow happened to walk over him and purely by a stroke of lucky happenstance, she dropped a warm cowpie right on him. He thought then that he was a goner for certain because he couldn’t breathe. But as the cowpie settled down over him, it warmed him, he could move again and he perked his head out. Then his exuberance at being able to breathe, move and live - he let out a happychirp.

His good luck came to a screeching halt as a barnyard cat, heard the screech, sought him out, dug him out and ate him. But lucky for you readers, there are three morals to this story that should be of benefit to all of us:

1) Everyone who dumps on you isn’t necessarily your enemy.

2) Everyone who gets you out of a serious predicament isn’t necessarily your friend.

3) And even more important — when you are warm and happy — keep your mouth shut!

And how about a few one liners for a closing.

Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake.

In just two days from now, tomorrow will be yesterday.

A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.

I am having an out-of--money experience.

Bernie Hughes, Ed.D., is a retired educator who resides in Superior. He can be reached at Bernie1@cpinternet.com.